Your eyes, pupils dilated, red around the edges. I could practically feel your energy, the heat of your anger. Your eyes wide teeth gritted. It was a pathetic feeling, the one you caused. Like a fawn that hasn't learnt how to walk, suddenly needing to run.

Legs wobbly against the grass, the ground didn't feel stable anymore, if it wasn't there to hold me, keep me stable then what was?

You wouldn't, though you promised. if i couldn't trust you who else was there to trust, to keep me stable when everybody around me couldn't keep themselves upright either. violence wasn't something new, the world was full of it even in my sheltered life. I saw it everyday. It could come from words, actions even thoughts, yours was the worst, your violence. even if rarely physical. your presence alone felt violent. like you were the embodiment of it.

I remember crying, being scared to get out of my seat. I rooted in place. your yells turning into TV static i couldnt understand i didnt want to understand why.

seeing her hurt the only person i couldn't stand seeing cry. you were the cause of her tears but i couldn't get rid of you. I needed you, too, even if it hurt.

I couldn't move. I wanted to help her, I needed to save her from you, but I was scared. scared of what you would do to her or me, I wasn't sure. It took me what felt like an eternity to find my voice even if it was only a few seconds. I told you to stop, to get off her. but you didn't listen. Sometimes I wonder if you actually heard me or in your blind rage you didn't. I hoped you didn't hear me. I didn't want to think you heard and continued, even hearing my cries.

I wanted to see good in you because I loved you.

I am fog bound

The fog rolls in thick as grief that won't let go. This road goes nowhere, it bends back on itself, twists like an old scar. I can feel it. The fog swirling close to the weight of secrets pressing down. Here in fog bound streets I meet parts of myself I left behind. Broken and blurred, my image fractured. Here I face the silence and it knows me well.

This place, designed for my punishment. i can't deny, here i am reflected, only me in this fog bound town. The fog, watching. watching me with eyes like mirrors. Reflecting on the things I don't want to see. So I walk heavy with the weight of it all. The eyes, the fog. every breath is suffocating in the grey mist.

I am fog bound.

The monsters wear my shadow, my skin, my face. Each one a piece of myself. Blurred by the fog. Bound in silence. It was inside waiting, watching, growing in the silence I tried to ignore.

I came here to forget but in this town forgetting is a sin.

If hell is real it's here in this broken town in my mind. Which keeps me bound by fog. There is no hiding, no running, no turning away, I am forced to see the shadows of what I am. And I know, in the end, there's no escaping this town. Only a journey through the dark, a reckoning with myself until the fog lifts and leaves me bare.

I am fog bound.